I know the vp said we should keep things simple,
but I'd rather stay complicated/complex like that

Its funny how my wish about having somebody to talk to about my inner thoughts came true today. I'm really glad it did, because I feel relieved that I'm not the only person who's got such complex thoughts. The kind of things going through our minds really scare us, which made us wonder if we're actually normal.

The person's Sarah :]

We ended up talking for close to 3 hours in the art room about these things about the truth, perception, reality, illusions, what's fake and what's not, how everything is in our minds, how suicide isn't what we think it is, supposed definitions (there's no such thing), how we are unconsciously being conscious here, relationships and a whole long list. It sounds really philosophical/psychological in a sense.


Do we actually 'create' our own friends by picking out the qualities we want in them? So is everything in our world 'created' by ourselves? ... are we real? There's seriously no such thing as the truth, because we can still perceieve the 'truth' as something fake, and doubt it.

Are we who we think we really are? Are there such things as unconscious actions, or only unconscious thoughts with a conscious action that follow? By trying to be real, are we actually being real by being so conscious about it? Is there even such thing as freedom? What will happen to us when we die?

Is pessimism as bad as what society definines it as? How do people even know who you really are? Wouldn't it be scary if they only like you for who you are on the outside? (but its impossible for them to REALLY know who you REALLY are) Is there such thing as a 'common' school of thought when we don't exactly know what people are made of? Why do we like finding things we have in common with others?


EVERYTHING IS ABOUT YOU AND YOUR MIND. EVERYTHING. Its about your perception of things, who am I? who are YOU?



This is probably my first time sharing such thoughts with somebody, because nobody ever understands all these things that go through my mind. (or I haven't got the chance to talk to them) Both of us were so thrilled to find out and the questions just kept coming out. Its really difficult to put all these into words, but the sharing sessions HONESTLY felt SO GOOD.

We both agreed these thoughts kind of torment us sometimes, but we wouldn't be ourselves without these thoughts anymore. Plus I TRIED being simple but it didn't make me any happier. Having new things to think about gives me a reason to live.

I wonder if I'll take this post down soon, and I wonder who'll read this. I wonder if this is far too personal for a blog, but I think I don't mind it at all. (yet I do, sometimes) I wonder if this will kill me..? I wonder if this lack of privacy will affect others? Do people mind?



Now I'm more than certain we can read expressions or people somtimes. I'm really interested to know who's like us (although it'll be impossible to define the entire conversation, those who really know might know)

I know we're not the only ones who have such COMPLICATED thoughts. It'd just be cool if everybody like that were to come together.



& what I've mentioned isn't even half of what we talked about. But it'd be scary for all of you to know, anyway. Like, this isn't safe afterall...